being a mom is pretty fantastic. chubby little arms (jazz) and not so chubby little arms (akina) reaching for you every morning to hug you and let you know how much you were missed during the night. i used to think that i did not want children. i didn't want to give up my freedom, i didn't want to have to devote all of my time to little ones who needed everything from me. sometimes i still struggle with the amount of freedom that has taken a vacation. (i say vacation because someday that freedom will return.) when i have to turn down invitations or leave a get together earlier than i would like, it's difficult not think a little selfishly. but, if you gave me the choice between the duo and freedom, i would choose my duo, hands down, no thought, everyday of the week and twice on sunday. patience is something that is slowly growing in me, it's hard, i have lost my temper an embarassing number of times. reading love & logic helped a lot and implementing it has done wonders to akina's attitude. working has also given akina and i time to miss each other, which has helped me appreciate her more and vice versa. 3 months ago she could have cared less if i left for a little while, but now every time i leave i get hugs, kisses, blown kisses and an i love you (which sounds like wuv wu). when i get home (the times she's awake) she runs to the stairs yelling "mommy!" and i get huge hugs and lots of kisses. it melts my heart. hopefully my patience has grown enough to survive potty training intact. ;-)
