2

my baby girl.

my first born.

i can't believe you're 2!

and sleeping in a big girl bed! where did the time go?!

sept. 4, 2008 was one of the best days of my life!  happy birthday, my gorgeous little girl.

hello me, i'd like to get to know you.

this is me.  i am 30 years old.  i have done a lot in 30 years that i am proud of and some things that i am not proud of.  but all of those things, pride causing or not, have made me who i am.  honestly, i feel i am still getting to know myself.  i am finally comfortable enough with who i am to not be embarassed when i like something that someone else does not. (especially those that like to ridicule people for liking something they think is absurdly ridiculous.)  i was a closet liker of so many things through most of my life because i was so afraid of what other people would think of me.  it has taken me all 30 of those years to get to the point where i don't care.  i am finally comfortable picking out or liking things that are different than "normal".  example: after jason and i got married we used money we had received to purchase a full set of living room furniture.  it is nice furniture, it is normal furniture, it is go with anything furniture.  it is the type of furniture that i am supposed to have so that when we move into a bigger house that has to be perfectly furnished and decorated, you know, the manicured look, i would be ready.  i was being smart, it was transitionable furniture.  now i look at it and all i can think is "blah.  blah, blah, blah."  because that's what it is.  it is boring, it has no personality.  the rest of the room has personality, paintings of hong kong, a bamboo ladder and other asian influences.  i love those, they are a part of who i am.  they describe a little piece of my personality to visitors.  but they are me.  not jason, not my duo, just me.  i lived in china, i bought these decorations, my family wasn't even a glimmer in my mind during my time there.  my whole perception is changing.  if someone walks into your house, what do you want them to see?  that a family lives there, to get a sense of you when they come in, see your family's personality shining through?  or do you want them to see the perfectly put together, restoration hardware living room, right out of the catalog?  don't get me wrong, the furniture is beautiful, but make it yours.  when i am done with my living room, there will be a whole lot of persoanlity shining through.  the chairs that will be going in cost $20 and $29 respectively and i couldn't be more excited about them.  they sure beat the $600 chair i am sitting in right now.  and to end this out, i feel you need to know, i like pop music.  i do.  i like many other kinds of music as well, but this seems to be one of the things that has plagued me since i was quite young.  no one wanted me to like it, so therefore when i was in a pop music-y mood, i had to listen in secret.  so now i am out.  i like it.  and i am going to love my vintage living room when i am done with it. ;-)